10 weeks…

…until our little guy arrives.  It’s a boy by the way:)

We are officially freaking out!  I’m not a particularly religious person but I find that I’ve literally started to pray every.single.day that we are good parents.  I pray that if all else fails—that at least we successfully keep our baby alive.  That was a joke, but said with a bit of seriousness.

Does anyone else feel that when you’re on the verge of becoming a parent, you all of a sudden become extra forgiving of your parents? Maybe it’s just me but I don’t know how my parents did it. I’m not even in full-time parenting mode and here I am having a full on spazz attack!

I find myself driving home from work looking at kids and their friends walking home from a high school that is very close to our house.  You see the groups of kids walking together and NO ONE is talking, they are all looking on their phones.  Then you see the group of kids on their skateboards being dare devils on the sidewalk.  The kids with blue and pink hair marching to the beat of their own drum and everything in between.  It then makes me think how I’d like our son to grow up. I hope is that he is this….

Dear baby L,

I hope that you laugh a lot.  Seriously, I hope that you find the positive in everything–even when it’s hard to.  I hope that you take chances even if we don’t understand them at the time. I hope that you are outgoing enough to be friends with ANYONE and that you don’t get caught up in being ‘cool’ or that you end up ‘feeling alone’.  I hope that you make wrong choices–but please, not the I think it’s cool to play chicken in the middle of the road kind of choice. I hope that with each wrong choice you make it teaches you an invaluable lesson.  I hope that you learn to always stay humble and kind.  I hope that you wake up each day and Carpe Diem the crap out of it!

I could go on and on, but my final wish is that you think it’s pretty freaking awesome that you have two amazing mom’s who love you so much and will always, always be there for you.

Love,

Us

Advertisements

I wasn’t ready….

Okay, I sincerely hope I’m not alone in saying ‘what the heck were we thinking’ when attempting to complete our baby registry. Let me set the scene here a bit…

My wife’s childhood best friends offered/gently told us that this kid (at the time) was 16 weeks away and that we needed to get it together with the registry. Until their insistence, we both felt like ‘well, we can do it next week’. Next week  may or may not have taken a few months until one day I looked at my wife’s belly like ‘HOLY SHIT’ we are really having a freaking baby soon. My wife and I had a moment of:
….but what the hell do we register for…
…..all we need is to keep this child alive, what do we need for just that…

Enter my wife’s best friends who I have dubbed our honorary saints sent from #thesecretsocietyofmoms. My wife is Isreali and in case you don’t get where I’m going with this–imagine women who wear the pants in their family. Better yet, they just don’t wear the pants–they ARE the pants. My wife sets a time on a Saturday to meet them at 10am and then we plan to do lunch after. Great let’s go!

The day of we were both excited and when walking into Babies R Us, we felt like Melissa McCarthy in the preview for Tammy Trailer. Instead of robbing a fast food restaurant, we were overly confident that we were going to OWN that place. Ps: while that movie wasn’t amazing, she’s freaking hysterical. In case you’re wondering how we felt, check this out:

Once the obligatory creation of the registry, odd looks from the woman working there as she kept calling K ‘mommy to be’ and me her ‘friend’ and getting the scanner it was at that moment that we both felt an overwhelming sense of panic. K’s best friends sensed this panic and sprung into action. They started to walk us through the store by each giving their differing opinions about what they used and what we did/did not need. Seriously, there should be a warning when you even think about getting pregnant that this IS a secret society you’re entering. There are secret mom memos that go out but you’ve never received  as they are top secret in nature and up until now, you were not privy to this information.

Initially we both thought that we’d be in and out within an hour, and off to lunch enjoying the beautiful California weather. Let’s just say 3.5 hours later we had finally started to make a dent in baby land. So much so that I just started scanning everything I thought was cute, hoping that the battery in my registry scanner would die and I’d be like ‘well, guys–this has been fun but the scanner died and we have to leave. Just a word to those that are not in this secret society yet, they.don’t.die.

We finally convinced our friend that we had enough things scanned and that we were starving. They agreed and we all went to lunch. Immediately after my 2nd margarita, I realized something, and maybe those of you that are parents will agree. Women who have had children are freaking amazing! They are more than wiling to offer their advice/take you under their wing because for some reason, they always remember exactly how they felt when they were us.

I looked at my wife’s best friends with an amazing amount of appreciation for everything they were and everything they did for us. From the daily calls to check up on K, to telling me what to expect, to taking time away from their families to ‘show us the way’ just to make us feel less overwhelmed.

All I can say is thank you to all of you out there that are exactly this to your friends expecting children. We need you more than you know and are blessed to have you in our life.

19 weeks and counting…

Man, just saying that trips me out.  Am I the only one who is still going through the ‘holy crap, we are for real having a baby moment?!’

The conversations people have when they know a baby is on the way are so mundane at times.

‘How do you feel now that you two are having a baby’

Do you know what it is yet?

How are you going to decorate the nursery?

—and my new favorites–

Wait, how did you guys get pregnant?

‘What are you both going to be called?

I like the call the latter #straightpeopleconfusion but hey, they are trying at least –right? 99% of the time we give the obligatory responses but gosh, knowing a baby is coming can be super stressful.  There are of course, your happy moments then quickly followed by ‘Babe, I’m seriously going to call 911 and report a lost child when I look back in the car and see a newborn on our way home from the hospital’ moments.  I’d like to refer to these as our free six flags roller coaster moments of pregnancy.

Also, I feel like it would be doing a disservice to those that read this blog and to our friends reading this if we don’t acknowledge that we got very, very lucky getting pregnant so quickly.  Please let me insert that when we told my Mother-in-law we were going to try and get pregnant she responded with ‘Gosh, K will get pregnant fast.  When I was young, I barely had my underwear off and BAM, I was pregnant!’

However, I know that many people on here as well as our own friends (straight and gay) are all struggling with getting pregnant.  There are so many times when I want to scream it to the world how excited we are, but  I feel bad at times for those that are not sharing in this experience in a way that they may want to be.  Actually, the more we started talking to friends/reading blogs we found that most people try for a very long time.  For those of you that may be reading this I want to say I’m thinking of you. I’m thinking of each and every person that spends all the sleepless nights researching pregnancy, no matter if you’re spending money to buy sperm or not, all of the tests, all of the hoping, all of the let downs and all of the tears that come with trying to get pregnant that IT.WILL.HAPPEN.  Now whether that is through a natural pregnancy, IVF or adoption don’t ever lose hope.  Sometimes you just have to leave life up to the universe and let it determine your blessings.

Now I say this because, I can’t tell you how many ‘are you freaking serious?!!’ crappy moments we both have had in our life.  Moments filled with loss, sadness and struggle that at times you feel like you’re destined to never be ‘content’ with life.

….but standing where I am now……..

…….all of the bullshit was worth it in the end because I have an incredibly beautiful and amazing wife who makes my heart skip a beat every time I lay eyes on her. We have an amazing support system around us and now we have a little baby on the way

….For that I’m truly blessed.

Earth to blog world…

Well hello there!
Gosh has it really been four months since my last post? #lame #badlesbian #epicfail

Where to begin. Well, we got married four months ago and life has been amazing! You know–I never thought our relationship would ‘change’ much after we got married but there is something about calling K my wife. I feel so much more connected to her and catch myself looking at her while thinking ‘dang, I won the lesbian jackpot!’ Now all of you that have had to date A LOT of train wrecks to find ‘the one’ know my appreciation for this. Yes we’ve had our up’s and downs but lately I’ve come to realize that finding the one person who drives you crazy in the good times, as well as the bad and who you absolutely can’t live without is purely priceless.

I know this post is short but my dog is begging to go for a walk so off we go. I’ll leave you with some photos from our DIY backyard wedding that was planned in under 10 days. Oh, and I must mention a huge THANK YOU to my very near and dear friend Julie. Not only did you get ordained just to marry us, you made our wedding cake by yourself, planned/decorated for the wedding and have been the most supportive/amazing friend I could ever ask for. I love you dearly!988467_10101333465017539_3906016614316148674_n

1421057_10101335740088279_2711799628022146991_o

10257150_10101335748047329_3708140864146700_o

10380197_10101335739514429_5703228144963347911_o

Rolling down the street, just me and donor pretty eyes sperm….

Well, K has been tracking her ovulation and we’ve decided to try our first IUI insemination within the next few days at our OB/GYN.  We’ve been talking about when we were going to ‘try’ and we kept adjusting dates.  The sooner it got closer life would happen and it would get delayed.  However, if you asked my fiancee she would tell you she knew May was the month all along 😉

This leads me into my fantastic voyage adventure to the Cryobank today.  We figured out that it’s on the way home from my job so I gladly said I’d pick up donor pretty eyes sperm.  I work as an IT manager and all day I’m busy, but still every second of my day today i felt so excited–until I started driving to the cryobank.  All of a sudden half way there I started to feel nervous. The thoughts went like this:

OMG this is really happening.  

OMG this feels a bit awkward pulling into the cryobank.  

OMG there are people staring outside like ‘I know you’re picking up sperm!’  

OMG you two could be parents soon!

As I sat in the car and had a coming to Jesus moment, I just said ‘D get out of the car and walk in to get yo’ sperm!’  So I did and as soon as I walked in any bit of awkwardness dissipated.  It’s as if the receptionist knew it was my first time.  She had this big warm smile on her face and said how can I help you?  As I explained that I was there to pick up donor pretty eyes sperm she asked me a few questions and went in the back and grabbed our nitrogen tank and gave me instructions.  Bam, the receptionist said ‘good luck’ and within 10 minutes I was out of there and on my way.  

All of a sudden I felt ‘protective’ of donor pretty eyes sperm.  I even buckled our little swimmers in for our commute home.  Then I did what the obviously appropriate thing was—I took a photo of the box and sent it to my fiancé and our newly ordained minister, Julie who dubbed the photo ‘baby L’s first selfie’  As I drove home a ton of thoughts/anxiety started to swirl around in my head.  I wondered if the insemination would take the first time for us. We have two lesbian couple friends who used this cryobank and although unlikely, it happened on the first try for them.  

Something about today feels different.  The fact that K and I are embarking on this journey together makes me love her even more.  Every night she does pregnancy meditation and as i’m falling asleep I rub her belly to send good vibes.  Dear Donor pretty eyes, it would be awesome if your little swimmers helped make a baby in K’s belly.  You would make us the happiest ever!  Love, D.